Saturday, May 26, 2012

Horror Stories

I am pretty much a professional babysitter.

By the age of 19, many girls are.

There aren't that many things that unite all girls. You've got the basic fact that really, girls just wanna have fun, and other than that, girls vary quite a bit from individual to individual. The only other truly uniting factor is the deep rooted desire to have the best babysitting horror stories.

I have my share, and given the chance, I share them with all of the dramatic pride I can muster. There was the time I was watching seven children and was tied to a pole, the times I've been asked all kinds of inappropriate questions that I will not even put on the internet, and of course the attempts from children to remove my pants. I've even had kids threaten me by hiding their siblings. Come to think of it, most of the stories I do not feel comfortable putting on the interwebs.

This summer, I have done quite a bit of babysitting and have, of course, expanded my bank of horror stories.

Earlier this week, around midday, I suggested to two adorable kiddos that we eat lunch. They thought, much to my relief, that lunch was a great idea. Since we had been to the park, I did the responsible thing and said, "Let's wash our hands!" (When I babysit, everything becomes first person plural and exclamation pointed.) The older of the two climbed on a stool, put her hands in the sink, and began a conventional method of hand cleansing. The other child tried a more creative approach. Taking a toy Mickey Mouse with him, he simply dunked his hands in the toilet and walked away. I'm sure he thought this was genius. I would have, too. Water, accessible without a stool! However, I, the boring adult in the situation, simply thought that this kid did not quite understand germs at a sufficient level.

I chased him, pausing to tweet:

With my wisdom and guidance, the little fellow was able to clean his hands with soap and water. So you may cease your nail-biting and rest easy tonight, dear reader.

Also this week, I had my first run-in with cloth diapers. If this is a reoccurring thing, they could find themselves on my "potential candidates for arch nemesis" list. And I do not say that lightly.

The kid decided to urinate in said diaper. This decision was made during his time on my lap. Come to think of it, I should probably put those shorts in the wash. We both got wet. But who could be mad at a kid who lets you read to him for an hour? Not me. I would guess you couldn't either.

Luckily, those are some of the more horrifying stories of the week, or at least the ones I could write on a blog.

Have a great weekend, and don't forget to teach your kids about germs.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Less squeak, more sneak.

Yesterday, my friend Alison and I determined to cross "crick stompin'" off the bucket list.

Little did we know what an adventure we were in for.

Plunging into the frigid waters of Cool Creek, we began to slowly waddle along. I took nothing with me but my orange, waterproof watch. Before too long, an older lady upon the designated walking path on nearby land (which is rumored to be used for travel more than the creek bed) asked if the water was cold. I am pretty sure neither of us played that one cool. She then said "I know it's not clean!"

I looked into the water, and it was very, very clean. It was clear as could be, even in the parts that were waist deep. There was no scum, and it didn't smell bad unless you got too close to a dead fish. Clean by my standards.

As we meandered upstream, we found the creek winding us through a golf course. Thus, the competition ensued. Whoever retrieves more golf balls from the creek wins. Colored balls are obviously worth two points, and if they happen to sparkle that would, of course, also contribute an additional point to the end total.

I started out strong with four golf balls from near the same area. At this point, any dryness that may have before existed was discarded with distaste. By the time I was holding about seven of the slippery spheres, it became evident that a strategy update was in order. Tucking my tank top into my shorts, I began to store my little trophies in my shirt in the manner of a woman curiously pregnant in the most lumpy way imaginable. Alison soon adapted to this form of play.

When both of my flip-flops and one of Alison began prancing inconveniently and simultaneously downstream, we made an executive decision to turn around, even though we had not yet reached the half-way mark of our allotted adventure time slot. We retrieved our footwear, as well as a couple more golf balls each, when we saw a sight that I had never before found quite so frightening: a golfer. Evading him with great care, we came to our next obstacle: a residential pocket on the creek bank. In this state, the last species I wanted viewing me was the human beings. Sneaking ever so carefully, we climbed onto these land paths that we had heard of. "Less squeak, more sneak! Less squeak, more sneak!" became our flip-flopping motto of the return journey.

In all, we avoided the golfer, the residential pocket, a group of teenagers (the most notable of whom sported flannel and a sombrero), and a group from our former educational institution. Parking at picnic tables, it was the proverbial moment of truth. You may feel free to at this point make a drumrolling noise on a drum of otherwise.

Grand Totals:
Alison: 28 points
Breakdown: 27 golf balls, one of which was yellow, for an additional point.

Jenna: 34
Breakdown: 32 golf balls, one of which was pink and shiny, for two additional points.

Yes friends, I am victorious, not only crossing creek stomping and spotting snakes off my list, but also winning the spontaneous and very serious competition.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Cat in the House

My family is not huge on pets. My first pet was a beta fish named Rainbow, who was mercilessly killed by my best friend and her family while my family went on vacation when I was in sixth grade. By my undeniable mercy, she is still my best friend. In fact, I sit in her kitchen right now.

Fast forward to current day, and my family owns a dog. That's it. The only pet in the Pinkston residence. One count 'em puppy.

This is important knowledge to have stored in your cranium when you read what I heard come out of the mouths of my siblings earlier:

"There's a cat in the house!"

Crying from the family room, my frightened brother and sister scampered away, my brother displaying a face composed 50% of disgust and 50% of terror from the kitchen. It's times like these when we realize how many irrational fears may exist in our families, lurking under the tough eleven-year-old athlete facade. House cats. Terrifying, apparently.

We open the door so the cat could escape, and my unsuspecting, intellectually challenged dog waltzes right out of it without a care in the world. I walked into the room of the feline sighting, and sho nuff, there was a cat. Chilling in our house.

That is what I love about cats. It doesn't matter where they are. They walk around like they own the place. For all I know, they might. I wouldn't be surprised. I only love cats secretly, mind you. To own up to this would make me a hipster, which we all know I am not. Secretly, however, I am preparing myself for a lonely future where I name each of my pet cats after something I am lacking: Intimacy, Love, Affection, Warmth, Income, etc.

This particular cat had gotten a little too attached to our family on Easter, taking a liking especially to my cousin. However, I never thought it would come back, much less pop up in our home about a month later. Who knows how long it had been in there.

We shooed it away gently and the cat left our home. I'm inclined to say he left it a little better than he found it, and really, that's all I can ask.

Friday, May 4, 2012

The Summer Bucket List Challenge

Hey there beautiful people!

It's summer time for this girl, and I am back in the town of Fishers.

You know what time it is! Shout it out! That's right, SUMMER BUCKET LIST TIME!

Summer Bucket List Time:

  1. Have a picnic
  2. Blow bubbles
  3. Unexpectedly attack someone with a water balloon
  4. Draw with chalk
  5. Create multiple things that I have pinned on Pinterest
  6. Make a new friend
  7. Be on a winning team in a game of ultimate frisbee
  8. Camp
  9. Do something undeniably MAINSTREAM
  10. Get back my head-kicking skillz
  11. Become good at a song on guitar
  12. Read a classic novel
  13. Go to a concert
  14. Make homemade popsicles
  15. Stargaze
  16. Cloudgaze
  17. Get a sunburn (on accident)
  18. Go to an open house of a beloved graduate
  19. Kayak around the lake
  20. Go to a museum
  21. Write a poem
  22. Run (quickly)
  23. Play volleyball
  24. Visit a friend at work
  25. Go to the park
  26. Make a new recipe
  27. Visit my pals back in B-town
  28. Go antiquing
  29. Sleep in 
  30. Drop by the Fort Wayne area
  31. Hike
  32. See a sunrise
  33. Go to a zoo
  34. Go to an amusement park and be amused there
  35. Tie dye
  36. Paint some walls
  37. Make a summer playlist
  38. Go to the lake
  39. Spot a snake or two
  40. Go to the state fair
  41. Go to a county fair
  42. Babysit (not necessarily a baby, contrary to the title)
  43. Serenade someone
  44. Memorize a lullaby on flute
  45. Snap an inspiring photograph (by my own standards)
  46. Make a clover crown and wear in public
  47. Spontaneous dance party
  48. Have a brother sister date
  49. Have a sister sister date
  50. Prayer walk
  51. Try watermelon (even though I hate it every time)
  52. Go to a library
  53. Go to a state park
  54. Bonfire
  55. Dominate in a cherry seed spitting throwdown
  56. Make a victorious garage sale purchase
  57. Eat a hot dog (I'm that into summer. I hate hot dogs. They probably hate me too.)
  58. Use my new passport for the first time
  59. Write a letter and send it in the mail
  60. Slip n' Slide
  61. Teach someone something
  62. Sing praises outside at night
  63. Learn more Spanish
  64. Make a friendship bracelet for a friend 
  65. Build a fort
  66. Eat peaches, plums, and nectarines
  67. Watch The Little Mermaid with my sister, who has never seen it
  68. Play a game of HORSE
  69. Read Revelation
  70. Make something to display in the apartment next year
  71. Use (slash abuse) an accent
  72. Give someone a gift, just because
  73. Go to Tennessee
  74. Catch up with someone I haven't seen all year
  75. Get a snow cone and order it half naked, for the love of ice
  76. Read to a little kid
  77. Paint my nails black
  78. Community service
  79. Go barefoot
  80. Ride a bike (big feat for me)
  81. Take my dog on a walk
  82. Eat ice cream on the wall at Handel's
  83. Play in a sprinkler
  84. Sew something
  85. Walk in a creek (since my friends forbid me from calling it "crick stompin'")
  86. Canoe or kayak in the White River
  87. Dance in the rain
  88. Go to a game of my sister and cheer loudly
  89. Go to a game of Brother Louise and cheer loudly again
  90. Fish
  91. Name my own constellation and be able to find it again
  92. Color a picture and hang it on someone else's refrigerator
  93. Buy lemonade (or whatever is being sold) at a kid's lemonade stand
  94. Publicly frolic
  95. Go roller skating/blading
  96. Try a new food
  97. Finally watch the last Lord of the Rings movie
  98. Get muddy
  99. Try a new flavor of ice cream
  100. Make something out of duct tape (a.k.a. relive the glory days)
  101. Go to a baseball game
Do everything on this list. Take pictures, if you can. And you, reader who completes the most, will win a glorious, undetermined prize.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Welcome friends, acquaintances, enemies, etc.

And so it begins.
A new summer. A new blog.
Today marks the completion of my first year of university. It is OK be frightened. First of all, I would like to thank my beautiful roommate for accompanying me on my first blogging adventure and giving me to courage to step into this blogging world on my own.
You may be thinking, what am I to expect from this blog? I believe in clarity (known by some as "bluntness") and in lists. Here are a couple of clear lists of what to expect from my blog, should you choose to read it.
What to expect:
  1. Over dramatization of daily events from my life.
  2. Updates on my mission trip to Ecuador, as we shall have access to the interwebs.
  3. Opinions
  4. Posts about food
  5. Posts about life
  6. Truth
  7. Exaggerations
  8. Miscellaneous adventures
  9. The unexpected
What you may not want to expect:
  1. Cheesy quotes
  2. Photos of pets
  3. Entire posts free of sarcasm
I would like to extend to you an invitation to join me in this online journey.

Invitation extended. Red underlining included to match theme and also possibly because jennareallyspeaking has not yet been coined as an "official" word.
And, I mean, if you REALLY feel like RSVPing, feel free. Expression of feelings is encouraged here.